Small Sample size Man Crush

I love small sample sizes sometimes. Especially when they justify a totally no homo man crush. I present to you, Nick Maronde.

I could go bananas over how deceptive he is on the mound, I could talk about how refreshing it is that bill of his hat isn't flat, I could go on an on about how giddy it makes me that we have another lefty in the pen who has a history of striking guys out (8.6 K/9 in in the minors). 

But no, I'm not going to do any of that. I'm just going to describe how Maronde makes me feel compared to How Johnny Depp makes me feel when he shows up in a movie. 




First, there is the totally surprised feeling.

When Maronde made his debut in Seattle, we had an idea of what we had, but what he showed made my mouth drop (How about paint for strike three). Absolutely floored by this appearance, even had a conversation with Mike Digiovanna of the LA Times on Twitter (If you're not following me, you should be @mike_hllywa) about how Maronde could be our K-Rod of 2012. Totally irrational, yes, but that is how man crush's work

There was a moment in 21 Jump Street where my interest was starting to wain. The jokes were getting tired, I can only deal with so much Channing Tatum, let's get on with it and then BAM!

HOLY SHIT! ZOMFG! IT'S JOHNNY FUCKING DEPP!!!!!!! Yup, same reaction.

Second. there is the confident feeling.

Did I know Maronde was going to strike out three guys in a row? No, that would be crazy talk *puts voodoo doll away*, but anyone who saw his first appearance had that feeling of total confidence when he entered the game. 

Last night my wife chose the movie for movie night. My wife understands my weird obsession with Johnny Depp. My wife rented The Rum Diaries. I had not seen a preview, but that didn't matter because (ZOMFG! IT'S JOHNNY FUCKING DEPP!!!!) when I see that JD (That's how I refer to him, he's cool with it) is in a movie I'm 100% confident he's gonna be awesome. Was the movie good? Not really. But, was Johnny Depp awesome? You better believe it.

Third, the swagger feeling.

Nick Maronde has made four appearances since striking out three straight Oakland A's. He gave up a hit and a walk in one appearance and was pulled (nobody's perfect, even JD had "The Tourist"). he faced five batters across an inning and a third and threw only 11 pitches. Nick's got the swagger, and I've got it too whenever he toes the rubber.

You know you have got swagger when you can have a movie come out where you look as dirty and unkempt as the person you regularly give change to just off the 22 freeway outside the Block at Orange (I'm sure he's still there, and I'm sure every November he still puts up a sign that says "Went home for the Holidays")

Regardless, Jack Sparrow is quite possibly the coolest and most cock sure character, not only just to be thought of, but to be brought to life. Be honest, at least one time since this movie came out have you referred to your wife/girlfriend/dominatrix as "Bonnie Lass" and I can't be the only person to fit the word "Savvy" into a conversation, just because it sounded soooooo cool. 

Is Nick Maronde Johnny Depp? Not quite. Sorry Nick, but JD has been making me say weird things for a long time. One day you'll get there. Maybe one day I'll show up to an Angels game with the word "Maronde" drawn across my forehead the way I do this for Johnny Depp (and for those who asked for it)......

Savvy?